


it's love, not logic

by alex_standall



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Actual plot, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, No Sex, Plot, Stoley, Swearing, but other things???, for like one chapter, i hope it doesnt flop, justlex, monty/alex to begin with, so lets see how it goes, that ship owns my ass, then justin/alex, this is my first 13rw fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-25 08:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10760676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex_standall/pseuds/alex_standall
Summary: Alex Standall makes a lot of mistakes.( starts off shit-gradually gets better:) )





	1. kisses

**Author's Note:**

> welp this is my first 13rw fanfic, so hopefully it goes okay!  
> if you like it please leave kudos! comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also I do not own any of the characters, this is just an AU off of the TV show, 13 Reasons Why.
> 
> updates every week!

Alex Standall makes a lot of mistakes. His latest one is his relationship with Liberty High's resident asshole, Montgomery de la Cruz. Alex isn't entirely sure how they got here, making out against Monty's wall, with shirts discarded and hickeys littering both of their bodies, but Alex would not rather be anywhere else. Despite the fact that nothing could come of this; whatever this was, Alex needed it, he needed to feel Monty's hot breath against his neck, needed the ghosting of lips over his chest, needed the soft whimpers to keep coming, Alex needed it, all of it.  


"S-stop thinking Alex,", Monty stuttered, removing his lips from a hickey he was creating on Alex' pale skin. Alex sighed as Monty reattached his lips to his neck, they were cold against the warm, flustered skin. He worked them down his his torso, leaving short kisses on the skin. Alex, despite loving the feeling of Monty against his tense body, couldn't ignore the nagging at the back of his mind, what they were doing was wrong. 

If anyone found out, Alex would have to leave again, move away like he did last time, and the time before that. His father would hate him even more than he already did, and Alex would be prevented from seeing any boy that held any possibility of hooking up with Alex.

Suddenly, Monty pulled away, leaving Alex looking at him, confused and frustrated.

"What's up with you?," Monty asked, slightly out of breathe.  
"Nothing," Alex whispered, as he linked his arms around Monty's neck, attempting to pull him closer.  
"Alex," Monty tutted, looking at him with worried eyes.  
"Monty," Alex repeated, mocking his tone.  
"Tell me," Monty looked at him so intensely that Alex had to look away, "Did I do something?"  
"God no, Monty, no of course not. It's just, I'm worried about us," ,  
"Alex, no one is going to find out, we've been doing this for like eight months now," Monty drawled, drawing circles on Alex's back. "My dad -" Alex began.  
"Will never know, you know how careful we are," 

Alex nodded and leaned back in, connecting their lips again. He moved his fingers from Monty's neck to his hair, twisting and gripping the strands with his hands, eliciting a moan from Monty.

Suddenly, Monty pulled back, turning his head to the window amd looking outside. "The fuck was that?" he asked, somehow completely aware of everything happening around them.

"The fuck was what?" Alex replied, craning his neck to see outside. "No, it's probably just a car or some shit," Monty said, mainly to himself.

Alex, too aroused and frustated to find out what Monty was talking about, just pulled him back in for a deep kiss, tugging harshly on Monty's hair.


	2. bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you may be a bit confused this chapter, but by the next one you'll know what has happened:)
> 
> give comments and kudos if you enjoyed it!

If you had told Alex twelve hours ago that him and Monty would go from making out half naked to attempting to punch the other one until they were unconscious, he would have laughed in your face, and yet here they were. Monty was straddling a beat-up Alex, blindly punching random areas of Alex's face, as Alex lay on the ground, occasionally spluttering a bloody cough down his chest and onto Monty's closed fist.  


A large crowd had gathered around the two, cheering on Monty or filming it on their phones, giggling to each other. Alex felt a wave of anger wash over him - why wouldn't they help him, intervene, do something? Alex knew he was going to black out soon, he could feel his eyes getting heavy and his body shutting down. In a last bid attempt, he looked up at Monty, trying to lock his eyes with him, and once he did he opened his mouth, and through his broken and beaten body, he was able to got out two words in a raspy voice,

" _Please, Monty_ " Monty jerked his fist away from Alex's face, and a look Alex couldn't recognize flashed across his face. 

"Get the fuck off him, asshole!" Alex heard a voice come out from far away, followed by mutters and shuffling from the large crowd, that appeared to grow second by second. Montgomery turned away from Alex, and hobbled off him; slowly standing up to face Alex's guardian angel.

"Shit, Montgomery! he's fucking gone, dickhead!"

 _Justin Foley_ " was the last thought Alex had before falling unconscious.

Alex awoke to a cool room, with bright colours and soft murmurings scattered around. Alex attempted to lift his head to look around, but he was met with a shooting pain that surged through his torso.

"Easy there, Mister Standall, you've got quite a few bruises. I'd suggest that you lay here for a bit, whilst I get your friends," a nurse chimed in from somewhere, Alex couldn't move his head enough to see, her tone laced with worry and frustration.

 _What friends?_ "? Alex thought, the only people he had any sort of relationship had either just beat him up or let him get beat up, which Alex was pretty sure resulted in zero friendships.

"Standall!" A loud voice rang, followed by heavy footsteps. In ran Justin Foley, who Alex only recognised as being friends with Monty. Apart from that, Alex had no relationship with the boy, especially as he was a complete dick, as demonstrated by the numerous times he had teased Tyler, and the fights he got into with obviously weaker boys; to show of his _masculinity_ , or some shit like that.

"F-fuck off," Alex groaned, his body feeling sluggish and his voice thick. He was not ready for a loud and overbearing Justin right now.  
"Nice to see you too," Justin replied cheerfully, as he strode over to Alex's shitty bed in the corner of the nurse's room, pulled up a chair and looked at Alex with a lopsided grin.  
"L-leave me alone Foley, I-I just want to g-go home," Alex got out through gritted teeth, as pain continued to shoot through him.

"Well then, there's good and bad news. The good news is I am not 'fucking off'-" Alex groaned at this, "And the bad news is that you can't go home-your parents won't pick you up and the school can't let you walk home,"  
Alex ignored the pain in his chest that came with the knowledge that his parents wouldn't collect him after he had the living shit beat out of him.  
"W-why are you h-here, a-asshole?" Alex asked, wondering if he was being punished for what he had been doing with Monty.  
"I am here to _talk to you,_ about why you and Monty fought, and then I have to feed it back to Porter, so he can find a solution or some shit, without doing any work. I really couldn't care any less about you and Monty, but I get to miss two periods; just because I was the lucky soul that dragged your sorry ass into this place, so honestly it's a win-win. Not for you, but for me and Porter,"  
Alex let out a groan, whether it was in frustration or pain Justin couldn't tell, but the sound made his stomach twist softly. Justin ignored it, as he always did.

"Why the f-fuck would I tell you a-anything, you d-dick?"  
"Well, you don't have to, but I am going to found out a version of the story anyways, y'know rumours and shit, so wouldn't you rather I know the real one?" Justin replied, staring absent mindedly at the ceiling.  
Alex pondered on this debating whether or not he should, before deciding on _fuck it_ , and he decided it was better to have the real story out in the wild, rather than twisted tales or overdramatized stories.

"O-ok, I'll tell y-you, but you have to m-make up a lie for P-Porter, okay?" Alex whispered, tilting his head slightly to face Justin, who had a small smile on his lips.

Alex didn't know how to start, it had all got so fucked up so fast.

"Hey," Justin said softly, "We can do this later y'know, when you're feeling a bit better,"  
Alex didn't reply.


	3. drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a little bit bad but I have loads of exams coming up so my main focus is just getting a chapter up!  
> leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed it!:)

That's how Justin ended up in Monet's on a Saturday, with Alex Standall sitting on in a booth, waiting expectantly for Justin to bring his drink.  
"One white chocolate mocha frappe for you, and a regular coffee for me," Justin smiled, placing the two drinks on the table in front of Alex.  
"Thanks," Alex murmured, though with no real emotion in his voice, as he hastily grabbed his drink and took a large sip.

Justin had lied to Alex. He had told him that he hadn't heard the rumours, but he had. He had heard them all. There was no reason for Justin to lie, he would have been able to force Alex to tell him what had happened, using Mr. Porter as a threat; and yet Justin had wanted Alex to tell him, willingly. He wasn't sure why, but Justin had wanted it, for Alex to agree to have a conversation with him, as stupid as it may sound.

"Monty and I, we were in a _relationship_ ," Alex whispered, staring intently at his drink, snapping Justin out of his selfish thoughts.  
"Like a...a se- dating one?" Justin asked, he knew he sounded strange, but fortunately Alex was too distracted to recognize this.  
"Yeah, no, I mean, kind of? It was only - fuck this is awkward - it was very, um, physical?"  
Justin ignored the twinge of jealously in his stomach. "I didn't know Monty was -"  
"He's not. He's bi, same as me,"  
Justin remained silent, deciding it was best to let Alex talk, right now he needed someone to listen.

"We had been _together_ for about eight months. We weren't official, but we wouldn't see other people. I, I liked him, but we were never going to be something,"  
Justin nodded, he sure as hell had had relationships like that.

"I don't know what happened, but we were at his house, just, um -"  
"I think I can gather what you two were doing," Justin smirked, as a light pink dusting coated Alex's pale face.

"Right, well, then Monty sees this light, and he blames it on a car, or whatever, and we continue." Alex paused to take a large gulp of his drink, "The next day I walk into school, and as soon as I enter I get about a million messages, from like Clay, Hannah, Jess, just everyone, saying to not come in; bearing in mind I have just set foot onto school grounds, and from thin air, Monty pops up, and he punches me. Square in the jaw."

"Jesus," Justin whispered, looking sadly at Alex.  
"Turns out, that flash was Tyler the Creep, snapping a picture of Monty to get back at him for beating him up every fucking day. Apparently, Monty told everyone that he was drunk, and I had fucking made him kiss me, the piece of fucking shit," Alex's voice was steadily raising.

"Alex, I..."

"No, you know what Foley, don't. You've got what you wanted, I've told you everything, now you can fucking leave me alone." Alex started to leave; he grabbed his cardigan and began to get off his seat.  
"Alex, sit back down,"  
"Why, asshole? You want to talk about my feelings, or whatever now? Well, no thank you, I'd rather -"  
"Alex, sit back _down_ "

"Why? Why the fuck would I want to do that?" Alex demanded, staring angrily at Justin.  
"Because, I -"

"Justin? Alex?"


	4. statements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little cute conversation for you!  
> I'm going to try to do the next update in the next few days, mainly because I have a few ideas of what will happen at the party;)

"Then Clay walked in, and began fucking questioning us on why we were together and shit. You need to learn how to control your boyfriend's mouth, Hannah,"  
"He's not my boyfriend, Alex!"  
"I forgot, you need to control your _future_ boyfriend's mouth,"  
Hannah tutted at Alex, chucking a paper tissue at him from across the table at the canteen.  
"Then what happened?" She asked.  
"I made up an excuse about us working on an English project, and then ran off leaving Justin to deal with the Sherlock wannabe,"  
"How's your head?"  
"Well the exterior seems to be healing quickly, but the interior seems to be falling apart,"  
Hannah rolled her eyes at him, as she grabbed a pudding cup from her tray and began eating.  
"Stop being so melodramatic. You've got boy troubles, so does half the school, Alex"  
"Except their 'boyfriends' don't start beating them up, do they?"  
Hannah grinned at him.

"I wasn't talking about problems with Monty," She smiled, the grin on her face growing.  
"Then who the fuck are you talking about? I would love to know about a possible secret admirer" Alex demanded as Hannah took a bite of her desert.  
"I'll give you a hint, he's coming over now,"

Alex whipped around, confused and annoyed at Hannah's words.  
"Justin!" Hannah smiled, "What great timing, I was just leaving!" Hannah said, as she left her seat she threw a sly smile at Alex's confused face.

Justin smiled at her, before sliding into the seat Hannah was in, directly opposite Alex.  
"Hey," he said softly to Alex.  
"Hi?" Alex replied, feeling more unsure of what was happening with every second that passed.  
"Um, I wanted to ask, in person, if you were coming to Bryce's party," Justin asked, almost shyly.  
"Okay,"  
"So?" Justin asked, with a hint of anxiousness in his voice.  
"So what?"  
"Are you going to answer?"  
"Answer what? You haven't asked me a question, you just said a statement,"

Justin gave him a crooked grin.  
"You're an idiot, Standall,"  
"Says the person that doesn't know the difference between a question and a statement," Alex smirked.  
" _Fine_ , are you coming to Bryce's party?"  
"No I am not, but thank you for asking me correctly," Alex smiled.  
"It's because you're annoyed about what happened on Saturday, isn't it?"  
"No," Alex tutted, but they both knew he was lying.

"Look, I'm sorry for prying, but you should know that you can talk to me,"  
"Wow, my very own therapist? Free of charge?" Alex asked sarcastically.  
"Don't be an asshole," Justin grinned.  
"What do you want me to say then? All I have are assholey remarks"  
"That you'll come to the party," Justin said simply.

"I will -"  
-and then the bell cut Alex off.

"Ah-hah! You said I will! Now you have to come, it's illegal not to," Justin grinned.  
"Well I wouldn't want to break the law, I guess," Alex said, feigning sadness.  
"Exactly. I'll see you tonight then?"  
"Unfortunately,"

'I'll see you later, Standall,"  
With that, Justin leapt off of his seat, grinning at Alex, as he left the canteen, whistling in a way only an asshole like him could.

 _Damnit Hannah,_ Alex thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it!<33


	5. bottles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry I didn't upload it was test week at school; so as an apology accept my (somewhat) longer chapter:)

Alex knew the only reason he was at this stupid party was because Justin Foley had been the one to ask him to come. If it had been anyone- _anyone_ -else, Alex would have refused, but it wasn't anyone else, it had been the legendary Justin that had asked him.

And that was why he was standing in Bryce's main room, awkwardly loitering near the drinks, alone, whilst Hannah went to the toilet.

"Hey Alex," a voice said softly.

"Oh, hey Clay," Alex smiled, as Clay scurried around the table, trying to a drink.

"How's your head?"

"Fine," Alex shrugged, "Just some cuts left,"

Clay just nodded, and Alex was grateful he didn't continue talking about it.

"Do you want anything?" Clay asked politely, as he grabbed a can a can of beer.

"Nah, I don't drink," Alex shrugged, fiddling with his can of coke.

"Really? Well how do you expect to get the full high school experience?" Clay asked, smiling.

"I don't" Alex grinned, "No drinking, no drugs, no sex. Just hardcore studying for me,"

"Hannah!" Clay called out suddenly, startling Alex.

"Hey Clay," Hannah beamed.

Alex rolled his eyes at them, resulting in Hannah shooting him a look.

"I'm going to - er - go out," Alex uttered, wanting to leave Hannah alone with Clay, as he was an amazing wingman.

"Oh, okay, see you Alex," Clay said, surprised, as Hannah mouthed a thank you over her shoulder.

* * *

 

"Yo! Standall!" A voice called out, whilst Alex loitered outside of the garden, staring at the pool. He seemed to do a lot of loitering at this party. Alex turned around, to see none other than Justin Foley grinning at him.

"I've been looking everywhere for you,"

"Well, you've found me now," Alex replied, raising an eyebrow, "Why did you want me anyway?"

"We're playing spin the bottle," Justin smiled.

"Count me the fuck out," Alex responded, rolling his eyes, "I'm not ten years old,"

"It'll be fun," Justin grinned, "Come on! Plus it's the grown-up version," Justin winked.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you get to do a bit more than just kiss,"

"So basically it's a way for horny teenagers to hook-up?" Alex tutted.

"Exactly," Justin laughed, "So you in?"

"No,"

"They'll be a lot of hot girls you know," Justin paused, "And guys," he added, quieter.

Alex stared at the ground.

* * *

 

Justin couldn't believe he had convinced Alex to do this. In fact, Justin couldn't believe Alex had even come to the party. Somehow, though, he had done it, and Alex was sitting cross-legged opposite him, waiting for Bryce to spin the bottle.

"Here goes," Bryce smirked at the ten or so teenagers, who all waited eagerly for the chance to hook-up with someone.

The bottle spun for what seemed to be minutes, until it landed on Zach.

"Dempsey!" Bryce shouted, followed by cheers from the other students.

Bryce spun it again, whilst half the girls edged closer to the bottle to increase the chance of it landing on them. Eventually, it stopped on a small blonde girl.

The blonde girl looked up at Zach, grinning, as they both leapt of the floor and practically climbed over each other to get to a room.

"Go get some Dempsey!"

"Okay! Two down, eight more to go," Bryce yelled, followed by whoops and cheers.

The bottle spun round, as Justin silently prayed that the bottle didn't land on him - or Alex - for some reason. Why didn't he want it to land on Alex? Did he feel bad for him, because of the whole Monty thing? That was probably it, it wasn't fair if Alex hooked up with some asshole that just forgot about him the next day. Fuck, Justin shouldn't have invited him to play spin the fucking -

"Foley!" Alex shouted from across the circle, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"What?" Justin asked, confusion plastered on his face.

"The bottle, bro, it landed on you," Bryce said slowly, as though he was teaching Justin something he couldn't understand.

"Oh, cool," Justin shrugged.

Everyone stared at him as though he was crazy.

"Whatever," Bryce responded, confused, "The lucky lady to tap that fine ass will be..."

The bottle spun round and round, as Justin prayed to every God that something would happen that meant he didn't have go upstairs with anyone.

The bottle had stopped, Justin noticed, but there was silence. Justin looked up to see who it had landed on

Alex.

Alex Standall, who was currently frozen in disbelief.

 

"Gay!" someone yelled, laughing.

"Spin again, Bryce!" Another voice yelled.

"No, no I don't think I will, I mean we've all seen the picture of gay Alex and Monty, right? I think gay boy here would thank me for some time alone with Justin," Bryce replied, a horrific smile on his lips.

"Bryce cut it out," Justin voiced angrily.

"Go upstairs with Alex, Justin," Bryce commanded.

"Fuck off, Bryce,"

"Go upstairs, or you don't have a home anymore,"

Justin froze, along with the other eight teenagers.

"This is bullshit," Justin yelled.

"Just go, man" A voice called out, almost sympathetically, followed by soft murmurings of agreement.

Justin stared as them all, angrily.

* * *

"This is fucking bullshit! Fuck Bryce! He's a fucking sadist that gets off on fucking with people! Fucking fuck!" Justin yelled, pacing around the unnecessarily large room, as Alex sat, perched, on the edge of the bed.

"Took you long enough," Alex tutted.

Justin looked at him angrily.

"I forgot, you were ranting, carry on,"

"He's an asshole," Justin whispered, as he sat next to Alex on the bed, staring at the floor.

"Yeah, he is,"

They sat in silence for all of thirty seconds, before Alex broke it.

"You promised me hot guys,"

"What?"

"You said there would be hot guys there, there wasn't. Only Zach, I guess," Alex shrugged.

"That's what you're thinking about?"

"You broke you're promise,"

"Was Zach the _only_ hot guy?" Justin asked, almost timidly.

"Well, there _was_ one other guy," Alex smiled.

"Who?" Justin whispered.

"Me," Alex grinned, as Justin gently whacked his arm.

"Seriously, was it  _only_ Zach?"

"Foley, you know you're hot, for fuck's sake,"

"You think I'm hot," Justin smiled, almost teasingly.

Alex just rolled his eyes.

"You're hot too," Justin smirked, and his mouth was getting closer to Alex's neck.

Alex stared at Justin's lips, as they were getting dangerously near.

"W-wait, Justin," Alex stuttered.

"Yeah?" he asked looking at Alex through his eyelashes.

"Do y-you, like, _want_ to do this?" Alex asked, his eyes flickering from Justin's eyes to mouth.

Justin nodded.

"Do you?" Justin asked.

"Y-yeah, I do,"

Justin's lips suddenly attacked Alex's neck, sucking harshly, as Alex's head tilted back.

"Holy fuck," Alex whispered.

Justin grabbed his waist and guided him to the bed's headstand, so that Alex's back was against the wall, with Justin straddling him. Justin leaned back in to Alex's neck, occasionally, grazing his teeth against him, causing strings of moans from Alex's mouth, as he brought his fingers to Justin's hair, tugging harshly on it.

"S-shit," Justin moaned against Alex's flushed neck.

Alex's breath shortened, as Justin pulled off of Alex's neck, so he could face Alex. He cupped Justin's face and pulled him quickly into a heated kiss, as Justin shoved his fingers up Alex's shirt, roaming his fingers over Alex's chest. Alex let out a soft moan as Justin's fingers grazed his nipples, which Justin swallowed.

"W-wait," Alex stuttered, pulling off Justin's lips, "How much have  _-ah fuck-_  you d-drunk?"

"S-sober," Justin replied, breathless, as he pulled Alex back into a kiss.

Justin's fingers caught the end of Alex's shirt, fiddling with the hem. Alex broke the kiss to raise his arms, letting Justin yank the shirt over his head and chuck it across the room. Alex quickly removed his fingers from Justin's hair to clutch the bottom of his shirt. Justin replied by raising his arms, letting Alex pull it off, before returning to Alex's beautiful and pale neck. He grazed his teeth along his delicate collarbone, causing Alex to nearly scream out in pleasure.

 _"F-fuck,"_ Justin moaned, "You're so fucking _pretty_ ," Justin groaned against Alex's skin, making sure his lips pushed against his neck with every word.

Alex raked his fingers down Justin's back, emitting soft moans from Justin. Justin's wandering fingers suddenly fell from Alex's hair to his lower stomach, keeping his neck on Alex's collar, as they fiddled over his belt.

"J- _Justin_ ," Alex moaned.

Justin suddenly jerked his head back, and stared at Alex with wide eyes and a worried face.

"Standall," Justin whispered.

"Yeah?" Alex asked, confused.

Justin suddenly snapped back to life, and he leapt off the bed as though it was made of fire.

"Justin?"

Justin ignored him, as he yanked his shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head, before heading towards the window and unlocking it.

"I -I don't understand," Alex whispered, staring at Justin, but Alex _did_ understand. Justin was regretting this and he wanted out, literally.

Justin turned to him, his cheeks still red, his hair still messy and eyes still dark.

"Don't mention this to anyone," he warned, as he dropped out the window to Bryce's backyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm what are you up to Justin?  
> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it<33


	6. swings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was bored so I wrote this:)  
> (sorry if it's shit, i'm quite tired as its like 1:00am)  
> :)

_**Justin:** can you pick me up_

_**Justin:** I fucked up man_

_**Zach:** what??_

_**Zach:** what are you talking about??_

_**Zach:** where are you??_

_**Justin:** two roads down from Bryce's_

_**Justin:** hurry_

Justin sat on the bench at the end of the street, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram and fiddling with his hair in an attempt to straighten it out.

"The fuck man?" Zach called out, as pulled his car up directly in front of Justin.

Justin just looked at Zach with tired eyes as he pulled open the side door and slid onto the passenger seat. Zach sighed at Justin, as averted his gaze to the road and started driving forward.

"Eisenhower Park?" Zach asked.

"Yeah,"

* * *

Eisenhower Park was the place Zach and Justin used to meet up as kids. When they were going through their early years of high school, it became some sort of a sad meeting place for them both. When life went to shit, they met there and would talk.

Neither of them had gone there in years, partly because they had learnt how to accept the pain, and partly because they didn't want the other to think less of them.

Justin couldn't give two fucks now what Zach thought of him.

Zach walked over to the swing on the right, and motioned for Justin to sit on the one next to him.

"I fucked up. I fucked up so badly, I-"

"Justin, calm down and just tell me what happened,"

"No, fuck I can't, it'll just make it worse,"

"Justin, you can't keep expecting me to help you if you won't let me,"

"I can't," Justin whispered.

"Then I'll just drop you home, if that's what you want," Zach tutted, as he rose from the swing seat.

"Zach, I need you right now," Justin pleads.

"Then fucking tell me," Zach responded, more tired than angry.

"No I can't, seriously I can't,"

"Then let's go, if you won't talk th-"

"I kissed someone I shouldn't have,"

"Okay,"

"Okay? _Okay?_ It's not okay! It's the opposite of okay! It's unokay!"

"You mean bad?" Zach corrected.

"Fuck off,"

"We all do shit that we shouldn't,"

"Yeah, but this gu _\- girl-_ could get hurt, like a lot,"

"I'm going to need more context than that, Justin,"

" _Fuck_ , okay, look, just _imagine_ that there was girl, and she was with this guy. And I kind of liked her, but I didn't really know if I liked her, because the way I liked her was really weird, I mean I did like her, but I _shouldn't_ have liked her," Justin looked at Zach to see if he understood.

Zach's face, however, was scrunched up in confusion.

"Okay, fuck that makes no sense,"

"No, it does, kind of, just continue," Zach prompted.

"Well then her and her boyfriend, well he wasn't really a boyfriend, they had this weird dating but not dating type of relationship; anyway, they break up. I'm happy, but I still ignore the fact I like her,"

"But now you know you like her?"

"I'm getting there, okay? So then Bryce is having a party, _this_ party, and I make her play spin-the-bottle, because I'm fucked up and I wanted the bottle to land on him so that we could make out. And I know it's fucked up, but it works, and it lands on him. But he doesn't want to go up, he fucking _freezes_ , and - _what?"_

Justin raises an eyebrow at Zach, who was smiling crookedly at Justin.

"You said 'he'," Zach grinned.

Justin's eyes enlarge suddenly, and his cheeks turn a violent shade of red.

"Fuck, I meant 'she'," he gets out quickly, although they both know he's lying.

"I don't care man, _seriously_ I don't, but just so you know, I already knew,"

_"What?"_

"I knew you liked boys before I was aware there was a word for it,"

"Jesus," Justin breathed at a grinning Zach.

"Please continue, though, this story is thrilling,"

Justin shot Zach an angry look, before complying.

"Then Bryce threatens me into going up with him, he fucking says that he'll kick me out his house if I don't go upstairs with him, so I-I do,"

"That's seriously fucked up,"

Justin let out a short laugh, that contained only anger and sadness.

"Bryce is seriously fucked up,"

"Then what happened?"

"We went upstairs, and my plan was to just sneak out the window as soon as we got up, but we just started talking, and he's so fucking easy to talk to, he's also really hot, like insanely hot, and I don't know what happened, I just had this urge to just kiss him. So I did, and he kissed me back, and we kept going; nothing below the belt though, and then I like snapped out of it, and," Justin took in a deep breathe, "I ran out the window,"

"What the fuck? Why the hell would you do that?"

"Bryce,"

"What would Bryce do? We wouldn't let him say one word against you two,"

"'No, it's not what he would say, it's what he would do,"

"As cool and cryptic as that sounds, you need to tell me a bit more," Zach tutted.

"Do you remember when I was with that girl? Rachel?"

"Yeah, a few months ago, right?"

"Yeah, her. Well, Bryce introduced us, and we obviously got on with each other. So Bryce thought he was entitled to, I don't know, _share_ her,"

"Fucking hell,"

"He would, _do shit_ to her, and like bribe her to comply to it, with money, opportunities, clothes, whatever, and I just had to pretend that it was fine, that I didn't care,"

"That's, _fuck_ , that's insane," Zach uttered.

"Yeah," Justin kicked a pebble on the ground, "I didn't want that to happen to him,"

"Justin, shit man, that's horrific, and Bryce is a dick, I get that but, I don't think Bryce is gay, like, he wouldn't want to -"

"Bryce and I kissed once,"

Zach stared at him, with his eyes wide and mouth open.

" _What?"_

"I was drunk," Justin defended, "He wasn't. He doesn't care about who you are, he just takes anything sexual he can get, he gets off on fucking with people,"

Zach stared at the ground, unsure of what to do or say.

"Should we go? You can drop me home, I'll be fine for one night. Sorry for interrupting your hookup, by the way," Justin blurted out, rising from the swing, acting as though he hadn't just told Zach he wasn't straight, that he made out with a boy, that Bryce used to bribe Justin's girlfriends for sex, that he feared Bryce doing the same to others. Zach was confused to say the least.

"Um - er- no, stay at mine tonight, I'll tell my parents we have some biology homework to do. And with the girl, nothing happened with us, she fell asleep,"

Justin grinned at him teasingly.

"She found you _that_ boring?"

"Fuck off, she was tired," Zach grinned, despite himself.

" _Sure,"_ Justin smirked

"You're still staying over though, right?"

"Zach," Justin started, though he wished he could say _yes, yes please, oh my god_.

"No, you're staying,"

Justin smiled at him. As he walked away from the swing and towards Zach's car, before he quickly turned around and faced Zach with confusion inked over his face.

"You never asked who it was," Justin murmured.

"What?"

"The guy, you didn't ask who it was," Justin questioned.

"About that," Zach started, sheepishly, "I should probably tell you, Bryce's walls are very thin, and the noises tend carry," He finished, awkwardly.

Justin looked at him, confused.

"I mean to say, you might want to tell Alex to be _a bit_ quieter,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zach and justin are my brotp


End file.
